


Wandering Orbits

by Lady_Faulkner



Series: Under the Asgardian Sky [5]
Category: Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Developing Relationship, Drunkenness, F/M, Family Reunion, First Meetings, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Homecoming, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mjolnir thought she was helping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-08 18:49:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13464351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Faulkner/pseuds/Lady_Faulkner
Summary: FLASHBACK: Loki goes to Jotunheim after Thor rejected his marriage proposal and reunites with his father.





	1. The Lost Prince

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place between the events of "Blood Moon" and "Lunar Eclipse" and is meant to round out some of Loki's character and motivations moving forward. It also helps to flesh out some ideas that have been rolling around in my head for a while.

Bitter wind cut through Loki’s clothes as he took in the icy world of Jotunheim. He stood on dense ice, dusted with snow, surrounded by an open expanse occasionally broken up by glaciers. For the first time in his life, Loki was truly alone. His eyes watered from the cold and he internally admitted how childish his actions had been. Effectively, he’d run away from home and for a moment, he saw himself returning and running to Frigga, who would take him in her arms, as she always did, and sooth him. He imagined going to Thor and apologizing before spending the night in his warm embrace. If that had been the only reason, Loki would have called to Heimdall and returned then and there. But it wasn’t. Odin had taken him from his father, from a family he had never known, and raised him to hate his own race. Now that he knew what he was, he needed to know who he was, and that was not a question that could be answered on Asgard.

Loki turned, examining his surroundings and searching for shelter. He had always had a high tolerance for cold, but that did not make him immune to the biting cold of a Jotun night. Already, his fingers and toes were beginning to tingle with loss of sensation, and the temperature was still dropping. Loki conjured a small ball of fire, which floated above his fingers, but this type of magic had never been his specialty and would not last long. He scanned his surroundings a second time and noticed a crack in a glacier, not too far off. It looked to be large enough to give adequate shelter, so Loki started towards it.

The wind battered him, but he managed to keep his course. The cold was beginning to bother him, and he pulled his tunic closer as he closed the distance to the glacier. Up close, the opening was smaller than it had appeared, and shallow enough that Loki doubted his entire body would fit. He contemplated warming the ice with his fire magic until the opening widened. His skill would have been adequate, but the dropping temperature would easily refreeze the ice he melted, undoing his work. Loki stared into the crack while contemplating going back to Asgard.

Ice groaned under his feet and the ground trembled, while the wind carried fragments of a conversation into Loki’s ears as he pressed himself against the glacier.

“Why…were sent…?” a gruff voice demanded.

“Sentry…Bifrost…intruder,” a low voice responded.

Two Frost Giants stepped into Loki’s line of vision, causing his heart to race. He had studied what little information there was in the Asgardian library about them, as a child, but that had not prepared him for what stood before him. At a guess, he only came up to the elbows of the broad shouldered Jotuns, both of whom carried clubs made of solid ice with ease. One had a long braid of black hair, while the other was bald and was missing a part of his right ear. Their markings were minimal, indicating that their heritage was lowly, but the patterns fascinated Loki, and drew his inquisitive eye.

The wind shifted and the one with the braid paused, and held out a hand to stop the other. “Asgardian,” he said in a gruff voice.

His companion nodded, and they turned their heads towards the source of the foreign scent. Their red eyes spotted Loki, who stared back at them.

“Nowhere to run,” the braided one grunted, marching towards Loki while the other flanked him.

Loki doubted that either of them were fast, but even if he did escape, his predicament remained the same. However, if he could convince them to take him prisoner, they would take him somewhere out of the wind. It wasn’t the best plan Loki had ever thought up, but it would have to do for now.

“Hello,” Loki called over the howling wind.

The bald Frost Giant chuckled, “Is that all you have to say, Asgardian?”

“I am not Asgardian,” Loki replied, half-yelling so they could hear him.

“You’re dressed like one,” the braided one sneered.

Loki glanced at his attire and gave the Frost Giants a calculated, guilty smile, “That I am. However, I have recently learned that I am in fact one of you. Thus, I thought I should…come home, as it were.”

The bald Jotun narrowed his eyes at Loki while the other growled. “You’re a bit small to make that claim.”

Loki shrugged, “It’s the truth.”

“What do they call you?” the bald Jotun inquired.

“Loki.”

The braided Frost Giant let out a bestial cry, “I have heard of you! Your father slaughtered thousands of our people, and your brother is no better.”

Loki held his tongue against defending Thor while the bald Jotun stooped so they were at eye level.

“You claim you are one of us,” he said quizzically, offering his left hand to Loki. “If that is true, then you have nothing to fear from my magic.”

Loki could feel the deadly power the Jotun wielded, and knew that if Odin had lied to him, his flesh would be frozen if it touched the Frost Giant’s. Swallowing, Loki reached out, and gripped the Jotun’s hand in a firm handshake. They both watched as Loki’s skin turned the same shade of dark blue as the Jotun’s. Marking appeared on his arm and the Frost Giant’s eyes widened before he released Loki’s arm and knelt with his head bowed.

“What are you doing?” his companion demanded.

“He is the son of our king,” the bald Jotun replied, his voice trembling. “The lost prince of Jotunheim.”

The braided Jotun’s eyes widened before he dropped to his knees. Apparently, his companion’s word was to be trusted, and Loki made a note of it.

“Your Highness,” the braided Jotun said, bowing his head reverently.

“Many of our people believed you dead,” the bald Jotun informed Loki. “However, some of us held out hope that you were alive. None of us thought Odin would have raised you as his own.”

“What of my father, your king?” Loki inquired. “Does he believe me dead?”

The two Frost Giants glanced at each other.

“He has believed for many years that you were alive, but that hope has taken its toll on him,” the braided Jotun admitted.

“Much was lost when Odin stormed the palace,” the bald Jotun added in a soft voice. “Laufey’s mate was killed by soldiers, and the bodies of several members of the royal family were burned beyond recognition. An infant’s bones were found among them, but Laufey refused to believe they were yours. For years, he has claimed they were your cousin’s, but…”

“One begins to wonder,” Loki finished.

The bald Frost Giant nodded.

“We should return,” his companion announced, rising to his feet. “The temperature is still dropping.”

Loki agreed, and the two Frost Giants led him through the ice and snow until they came to a cavern. Once inside, they continued walking towards the back, and Loki noticed that the floor sloped downward into the ground. They descended beneath the surface for another ten minutes, before the ground became level and Loki found himself in a large, open cavity. The floor was dirt, and firepits had been dug, casting dancing shadows on the walls. Frost Giants of varying sizes stood near the fire, all with clubs of ice nearby, while they chatted in rumbling tones. The group closest to the opening spotted Loki first, and soon dozens of red eyes were fixed on him and his two companions.

They said nothing, and ushered Loki towards another tunnel on the other side of the room. The way was short, but dark, illuminated only by a single, low burning fire pit in the cavern they were approaching.

Initially, Loki believed the chamber to be empty, but a second glance revealed a tall figure, hunched beside the fire. The flickering light clung to his bare skull and cheeks, bringing the bones underneath into sharp relief. He had square shoulders, but his skin was tight against his bones that had once held strong muscle. His eyes were vacant as they stared into the flames and his markings stood out like a series of veins, making it impossible for him to be mistaken for anyone other than the King of Jotunheim.

“What is it?” Laufey demanded, his voice thin and scratchy.

Loki’s companions bowed respectfully before the bald one stepped forward. “My king, there was a report of the Bifrost touching down on the surface. While investigating, we found one whom many believed dead. My king, we found your son.”

Loki stepped forward into the light and felt Laufey’s eyes rest on him briefly before they focused on the bald Jotun.

“Why do you tell me these lies?” he inquired, his voice soft and tired. “Why do you torment your king? That is an Asgardian, a son of Odin from his dress.”

“I may appear Asgardian, but I am Jotun,” Loki replied respectfully. “Odin took me years ago, and I have only learned of my parentage this night.”

“If you were Jotun,” Laufey returned, “you would have markings on your face, but yours is smooth and pale.”

Loki glanced at his companions for help.

“My king,” the braided one said, “allow me to fetch your physician. He will be able to determine the truth.”

Laufey nodded wirily and the braided one left the chamber.

“What do they call you?” Laufey inquired, turning his gaze on Loki.

“My king, I am known as Loki.”

Laufey gave a sickly chuckle, “I have heard of you; you’re Odin’s sickly child, the one his wife dotes upon.”

A knife twisted in Loki’s heart; Frigga would have noticed his absence by now. “Yes,” he replied.

The ground shook and the braided Jotun returned, accompanied by another Jotun with a series of small braids that were gathered into one. He carried an animal hide bag, and Loki only came up to his elbow.

The physician glanced at Loki before rummaging through his bag and producing a glass vile filled with a green liquid.

“Drink,” he ordered, handing it to Loki.

“How much of it?” Loki inquired, removing the stopper.

The physician smirked, “As much as it takes.”

Loki nodded once before raising the vile to his lips. The liquid was thick as honey and warm on Loki’s throat. He had only ingested a few large sips before the physician took the vile from him and nodded. Loki examined his hands and watched as his skin turned blue and his birth markings rose to the surface. Unlike his encounter with the bald Frost Giant, the markings and coloring did not fade, and Loki raised his head to look at his father.

Laufey’s eyes were wet with tears and he slowly rose to his feet. “Loki?” he whispered, stepping towards the son he had begun to believe was lost forever.

“Yes, father,” Loki replied.

He stood an inch higher than his father’s knee, which made him involuntarily remember when he had been the same height on Odin. Suddenly, Loki was a child again, seeing his father return after a lengthy absence, but he had now taken Odin’s place. Laufey had waited for him to return even more hopefully than he ever had for Odin, and now his wait was over.

Laufey knelt and examined Loki’s face with a loving smile, “You have Farbauti’s eyes.”

He was referring to the shape of his eyes, Loki decided, since all Jotuns had red eyes. He gave Laufey a polite smile, which was also Farbauti’s.

“I wish he could have seen you,” Laufey lamented. “You were so small when you were born, we didn’t think you would survive your first winter.”

“‘He’?” Loki repeated.

Laufey squared his shoulders, “Farbauti was my mate; my greatest love. He fathered you, and if your Asgardian sensibilities are offended by this-.”

“-No!” Loki insisted. “I was merely surprised that your mate was male.”

Laufey shook his head. “Odin has passed his narrow views to you,” he muttered. “A person’s mate should bring them their greatest happiness. Masculinity or femininity should not matter.”

Loki blinked in amazement while his heart soared in his chest and his thoughts raced to Thor. He dropped his gaze. He had offered Thor his heart, only to have it broken and thrown back in his face. That was not love. Thor had been thinking only of himself, with no consideration for Loki or his feelings.

Laufey silently dismissed the physician and the other two Jotuns before sitting down beside Loki. “You have known the pains of love,” Laufey said gently.

Loki shielded them from Heimdall’s gaze. For once, he allowed his anger to bubble over without fear of consequences. “I offered him everything, and that oaf thought only of himself,” he spat. “He’s spoiled, and headstrong, he….”

Thor would have seen him leave. Even if he hadn’t, Frigga would have told him. Loki knew Thor’s temper well enough to know that it never lasted more than an hour at most. He would be heartbroken and guzzling ale to numb the pain by now, and Loki could picture it as clearly as if he was there. For the first time in his life, Thor would be alone, even when surrounded by his friends. He would now know what every day of Loki’s life had been like, and he would crumble beneath the weight of it. An image formed in Loki’s mind that shook him to his core; his own loneliness had culminated on the night before Thor’s coronation, on the balcony. Thor was more emotional than he was, and an image of Thor covered in his own blood burned behind Loki’s eyes.

“Loki?” Laufey whispered.

He sighed and closed his eyes, “I have to go back.”

“Why?” Laufey inquired.

“Because, as much as I want him to suffer, he…” Loki responded, losing his voice momentarily. “He’s never been alone. He becomes reckless when he’s unsure or scared.”

Laufey held up a hand, “You left for a reason, Loki. Correct me if I’m wrong, but it was what was best for you. Going back-”

“-He broke my heart, so I broke his by leaving,” Loki cut in. “He’s alone, and scared, and I…”

He paced then sat down. He had never been this emotional or this unsure in his life, and it was beginning to scare him. Deep down, he knew going back was wrong, but the thought of Thor bleeding out would not leave his mind.

“Loki, have you had your menarche yet?” Laufey whispered, lightly touching Loki’s shoulder.

“Started tonight,” Loki admitted.

“I thought as much,” Laufey nodded. “You can’t stop worrying that he will harm himself because of what you did, can you?”

Loki shook his head in agreement.

“Even if it meant losing your own life, you would return to Asgard for him and bring him here if it meant saving his life,” Laufey continued knowingly.

“What’s wrong with me?” Loki demanded.

“Nothing,” Laufey reassured him. “Loki, when we mate, it is for life, and the bond we form is a powerful one. After I lost Farbauti, what soldiers I still had were tasked with keeping me alive. I was so desperate to see him again, but I knew that I could not leave you orphaned. My greatest love would never have forgiven me if I had done that. Thus, I waited for some word of what had happened to you. I waited, and I waited…and now you have returned to me, but with a heart just as broken as my own, and you are not yet mated.”

“I do not want this pain,” Loki growled. “It’s burning me up from the inside.”

Laufey rested a hand on Loki’s shoulder, “Stay here on Jotunheim, Loki. Since you are not mated to him, distance and time will lessen your bond.”

Loki nodded.

“I have heard that you are exceptionally gifted in the magic arts,” Laufey continued. “I will engage our master sorcerer to teach you our craft. They say study is the best distraction.”

“That it is,” Loki agreed.

The next morning, Loki began his study of Jotun ice magic. It proved to be a refreshing challenge for him, which fed his desire to master it.

“Mastery takes years,” his instructor reassured him after another failed attempt to freeze an earthen ball.

Loki doubled his efforts and six months later, he surpassed his instructor, but his heart still longed to return to Thor. Determined to put the Asgardian prince from his mind, Loki set about devising a system that combined the ice magic of Jotunheim with the arts of Asgard and Vanaheim.

As he worked, Laufey observed his son with quiet sorrow. While Loki’s bond was lessening, he was not letting go of his love but burying it under his workload and the occasional lover. His drive made him studious to the point of genius, but it was a fragile genius. Once he accomplished everything he set his mind to, there would be nothing left to numb his pain. The lovers he had taken had been for understanding his own pleasure as a Jotun male and nothing more.

“She asked after him,” Laufey’s ambassador informed him after a secret meeting with Asgard.

Laufey nodded, “What did you tell her?”

“Nothing Heimdall couldn’t,” the ambassador replied.

“Good,” Laufey mused.

The ambassador shifted his feet nervously, “My king, if what she claims to be is true-.”

“-We cannot continue to live in isolation from the Nine Realms,” Laufey agreed.

“Sire, if you command it, I will go to Asgard,” the ambassador said in an undertone.

Laufey shook his head, “They will see you as a spy.”

“Then whom would you send?” the ambassador inquired.

“My son,” Laufey whispered. “He grew up amongst them and knows their ways. They may not trust him, but he knows the palace better than the guards.”

The ambassador hesitated. “My king, your son is undoubtedly the right choice, but I worry that returning to Asgard will negatively affect him.”

“I do not doubt that, but he has been hiding here,” Laufey replied. “He needs to confront his past if he is to move forward. I take no pleasure in asking him to return, but he needs to see what has transpired in his absence.”

“Some say the prince intends to marry her if she secures the blessing of the Realms,” the ambassador mused.

“Then my son was never loved,” Laufey whispered. “That, or the prince has a greater capacity for love than Loki gives him credit for.”

The ambassador nodded gravely and Laufey smirked at him.

“Your majesty?”

“When he arrived here, Loki feared for the prince’s life,” Laufey reminded his ambassador. “Yet he still lives. Granted, she has helped him, but that is only a small part of it.”

“My king, I do not follow,” the ambassador admitted.

Laufey smiled, “Wait and see what happens on Asgard. I predict, we will bear witness to history.”


	2. If He Be Worthy: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor and Mjolnir meet for the first time in the wake of his argument with Loki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashback to fill in Thor and Mjolnir's first meeting. There will be a part 2, which will go into her first meeting with Odin and the beginning of their deal which is concluded in "Lunar Eclipse".

Thor stared up the woman with electric blue eyes in confusion. What did she mean by, “I haven’t left you?” He had never met her before in his life, yet her hand on his shoulder had a calming effect on him.

“Who are you?” he whispered.

She gave him a soft smile, “Mjolnir.”

Thor turned his gaze from her and searched for his hammer, but it was not on the balcony beside him.

“Where is it?” he demanded, rounding on the woman who called herself Mjolnir. Her face crumbled, and Thor jumped to his feet, throwing the woman off balance. She teetered unsteadily before throwing her hands against the railing for support as her feet slid out from under her. Thor recalled himself and offered her his hand. She took it and there was a familiar weight to her hand, yet as he helped her to her feet, she felt lighter than air.

“I haven’t left you, Thor,” she reassured him, meeting his gaze. “I know its fantastical, but please believe me when I say that I am your hammer, Mjolnir, forged for you by the dwarves of Svartalfheim.”

Thor made sure she was steady before turning away from her. He was completely overwhelmed; Loki was a Frost Giant with two genders, who had proposed to him, and now his hammer was a maiden. “How is this possible?” he inquired in resignation.

Mjolnir paused in contemplation. “I’m not entirely sure,” she admitted. “Remembering what I was…is fuzzy now. I remember wanting to help you more than I’ve ever wanted anything else. Then, I became…this and _this_ is intoxicating. I feel as if I’ve inhaled too much oxygen.”

Thor turned to her and she was smiling at the sky with her eyes closed. A soft breeze fingered her short hair and she shivered with sensation before opening her eyes and meeting Thor’s gaze.

“Everything is new,” she apologized, attempting to walk to him.

She stumbled, and Thor rushed to her side to steady her.

“You always set me on my head,” Mjolnir explained with an apologetic smile.

Thor didn’t know how to respond and guided her to one of the two chairs by the fireplace. As he helped her to sit, she gingerly took hold of his hand, drawing his attention. “I’m sorry,” she whispered before letting go.

“For what?” Thor inquired, sitting in the opposite chair.

Mjolnir hesitated and chose her words carefully, “He should have said goodbye.”

Her words were a twisting knife in Thor’s heart, which stopped once he fully realized what she was implying. “You know,” he whispered.

“I’ve always known,” Mjolnir replied cautiously.

Thor dropped his face into his hands. After a moment, he felt Mjolnir’s hand on his shoulder and he raised his head. One hand braced her against the table, but her touch was soft, and her gaze was focused entirely on him. The empathy in her eyes caused Thor’s to water with guilt and he dropped his head back into his hands.

“This is my fault,” he wept. “If I hadn’t told him, none of this would have happened. I was a fool; telling him that after what he tried to do?” Thor shook his head in disappointment. “I thought knowing would make the burden easier for him to bare. Then I let my desire get the better of me.”

“Heimdall might be watching,” Mjolnir cautioned in an undertone.

Thor raised his head and met her gaze. “My mind is on fire and all I can see if the face of my love. I fear this fever will not break until we are reunited. Even if it is only one more time, cross the Realms would be nothing to me.”

Mjolnir’s eyes widened and the hand bracing her against the table flew to Thor’s other shoulder. “Thor, listen to me, you can’t go after your love. You could start a war if you do. Is that what you want?” she demanded. “Think of what that would do to him.”

“I know that it is foolish,” Thor admitted, “but the thought will not leave my mind.”

Mjolnir straightened up and looked down at the man who had controlled her every movement for centuries. “You are better than this,” she scolded.

Thor raised his eyes to look in hers and was surprised to see them widening. “Bonding” she whispered before turning and marching to the door on shaking legs.

“Mjolnir,” Thor called, chasing after her.

“I remember seeing something about Jotuns forming a type of bond, but you placed me over the rest of the text,” she explained as Thor steadied her. “If it’s what I think it is, then it may explain what you’re feeling.”

Thor braced her against him and together they walked down the halls of the palace until they came to the library. The librarian was out at supper when they arrived, so Mjolnir guided Thor through the towering walnut bookcases. She ended up being a row off, but Thor was still impressed with her memory of a journal he had completely forgotten about.

“I think I remember where the passage was,” Mjolnir said once Thor had retrieved the journal.

He handed it to her and she ran her hand over the leather cover before opening it and turning the dusty pages, her eyes scanning the fading ink until they found what they sought.

“ _‘Jotuns take a single mate after reaching maturity, whom they remain with for life. A strong bond forms between them, increasing their protectiveness and concern for the other’s wellbeing._ ’” Mjolnir read aloud. “ _‘Currently, it is believed this bond is the result of a hormone produced during mating._

_‘If separated from their mate, Jotuns have been known to search for days to recover them. If their mate dies, many Jotuns will take their own lives out of grief and loneliness_. _Those that do not often become depressed and most starve to death within a year of their mate’s death.’_

_However, this does not appear to be the case with adolescent Jotuns. Many have been reported to form a pseudo-bond from intercourse prior to the female’s menarche. This bond, while intense, is not as strong as what they will form as adults and can be lessened through separation.’_ ”

Thor let out a heavy sigh and Mjolnir touching his arm reassuringly before turning and scanning pages until she came to a footnote with a personal anecdote from the author.

“ _After leaving Jotunheim, I found that I had formed a type of pseudo-bond with a certain Jotun female. I long to return to her, despite the dangers, and it is the strength of my will that prevents me from doing so,’_ ” she whispered. “ _‘Asgardian physiology differs from that of the Jotuns, which had led me to believe that exposure to Jotun mating hormones can have a bonding effect on Asgardians. Perhaps the mating hormone is something other than a hormone? Compound released during intercourse? In saliva? Investigate further.’_ ”

“Did he?” Thor inquired, before scanning the shelves.

“The research wouldn’t have been of interest to the All-father,” Mjolnir muttered. “Asgard was on the brink of war with Jotunheim at the time. Frankly, it’s amazing that this journal was even written.”

A chill ran up Thor’s spine. For a moment, he had heard Loki’s voice in Mjolnir’s tone and wording. He glanced at her and she dropped her gaze, as if aware of Thor’s thoughts.

“Thank you,” Thor mumbled. “I never would have thought to look here for answers.”

Mjolnir nodded and returned the journal to its place on the shelf. Thor opened his mouth to speak, but his attention was caught by the sound of approaching footsteps. He stepped into the main aisle and could just make out the librarian, Erna, returned from dinner, making her way towards him.

“I thought I heard voices,” the elderly librarian called with a smile.

She was a small woman who only came up to Mjolnir’s shoulder, who, Thor realized, came up to his. Erna had long, grey hair which she pulled up in a tight bun on the top of her head. She wore a dull yellow dress with large sleeves that hid her small hands and nimble fingers.

“Prince Thor,” Erna exclaimed in surprise when she recognized him. “May I ask what has brought you here so late at night?”

“Research,” Thor replied before realizing how suspicious that sounded. He had never come into the library unless one of his tutors had insisted upon having their lesson there, or Loki had eagerly pulled him along to show him some new spell or fact he had discovered.

The librarian blinked, “Research?”

“It was my idea,” Mjolnir admitted, stepping out of the shelves so the librarian could see her.

A warm smile appeared on the Erna’s face, followed by a knowing glance cast at Thor. “I do not believe I have seen you here before,” the librarian said kindly to Mjolnir.

“It has been a long time since I last came here,” Mjolnir replied with a guilty smile.

“Did you find what you were looking for?” Erna inquired.

“Yes, we did,” Mjolnir nodded.

Erna smiled at her, “Wonderful. Oh, I did not catch your name.”

“Thyra,” Mjolnir quickly lied.

“Thyra, what a pretty name,” Erna mused.

Thor shifted his weight. “We should be going,” he muttered.

“Of course,” Erna nodded. “It was lovely to meet you, Thyra. Perhaps I will see more of you?”

“A pleasure,” Mjolnir reassured her. “I would hope so.”

She and Thor left the library, with Mjolnir needing Thor’s support every other step. They did not speak again until after they had returned to Thor’s chambers and locked the door.

“Thyra?” Thor inquired.

Mjolnir shrugged, “At the time, it was easier to tell a lie than explain the truth.”

Thor looked away, hearing Loki’s voice intertwined with hers.

“That’s the second time you’ve done that,” Mjolnir whispered.

“Done, what?” Thor replied in confusion, turning back to her.

Mjolnir shook her head at him, “Twice now, you’ve gone pale before looking away from me.”

Thor took a step towards her, “I’m sorry. You sounded so much like Loki that….”

“I’m sorry,” Mjolnir whispered. “I didn’t mean to cause you more pain.”

“You didn’t,” Thor reassured her.

Mjolnir nodded, but didn’t believe him. “You shoulder so much,” she mused.

“I am the son and heir of a king,” Thor replied solemnly.

“That does not mean you shoulder every burden alone,” Mjolnir reminded him.

Thor gave her a weak smile. “Who would share my burden?” he inquired.

“Your advisors,” Mjolnir responded immediately.

“Just them?” Thor challenged.

“And your wife, depending on who she is,” Mjolnir conceded.

Thor chuckled, “What exactly do you mean by that?”

“Some women are better suited to baring the burdens of others,” Mjolnir explained. “Not every _person_ is suited for the task. It becomes a matter of personal ability rather than willingness.”

Thor nodded and retrieved a bottle of mead from his personal stores, along with two goblets. “I have a feeling that this evening will run late,” he explained, pouring generous amounts of mead.

“I think you’ve had enough for one night,” Mjolnir replied.

“One drink,” Thor bargained.

Mjolnir shook her head, “That’s how it starts.”

“Please, Mjolnir,” he begged.

“One drink,” Mjolnir replied firmly.

He handed her one of the goblets and politely drank half of the other in a single gulp. Mjolnir gave him a disapproving glance before lifting the goblet to her lips and tasting mead for the first time.

“You’ll get used to it,” Thor chuckled as she pulled a face.

Mjolnir shook her head and Thor drained the rest of his goblet before refilling it to the rim. He guzzled six more full goblets and a half one before the mead ran out. Mjolnir was still sipping at her goblet and watching him closely. She knew by now how much it took for him to become drunk, and the mead he had just finished, combined with what he had consumed earlier was getting him close.

His eyes rested on hers and he pronounced them beautiful. “Like lightning,” he added.

“Thank you,” Mjolnir said, setting her goblet down.

Thor cross the room to her side. “Will you stay with me?” he whispered. “I don’t want to be alone, not tonight.”

“Yes,” Mjolnir replied.

“Thank you,” Thor breathed in her ear.

As he prepared for bed, Mjolnir watched Thor with a critical eye. The mead had loosened him up which only made his grief at losing Loki even more apparent. He offered Mjolnir one of his larger shirts, which covered her enough to act as a nightgown, before he crawled into bed on his stomach. Mjolnir slid in beside him and he took her hand in his as he fell into a deep sleep.

“Good night,” she whispered to him before closing her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I skipped over these events originally because I had already written a similar first meeting between Thor and Mjolnir and felt that I would be going over many of the same story beats again. I managed to avoid that, but if you want to read their other first meeting, or want see more of Mjolnir without the Loki drama, check out "I am Mjolnir"


	3. If He Be Worthy: Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Odin and Mjolnir clash upon meeting each other and their bargain is struck. Thor waits for Loki to return while also developing feelings for Mjolnir.

 

The latticed windows broke up the rays of the morning sun, casting patterns on the floor and on Thor and Mjolnir’s sleeping faces. Despite their movements in the night, their hands had remained interlocked and in a daze, Thor examined the slender hand of the woman whose existence was baffling to him.

She was laying on her side, her short hair in her eyes and her breathing slow and constant. Her serenity was soothing to Thor and focusing in on the curve of her face temporarily distracted him from his heartache.

A soft knock at the door shook Thor from his daze and snapped Mjolnir from her sleep. Thor felt the muscles in her fingers tense and their eyes met, their gazes steady and hyper focused.

“Come,” Thor called, slipping out of bed.

He glanced over his shoulder at Mjolnir, who slithered out from under the sheets and crept along the edge of the bed like a prowling beast.

The door opened, and Frigga slipped in. “Thor?” she called softly before noticing that he was up.

“Mother?” he blinked in surprise. “Is everything alright?”

She nodded and walked to him. “How are you?” she whispered, looking up at him anxiously.

“As well as can be expected,” Thor admitted with a sigh.

“He was your brother,” Frigga agreed.

Thor nodded, and Frigga walked around him. She didn’t know what she had intended to accomplish, but when she saw the two depressions in Thor’s bed, her shoulders slumped.

“You have company,” she muttered.

Thor’s heart ached, knowing how this looked to her. Mjolnir poked her head out from behind a pillar, which she had concealed her from Frigga’s gaze.

“Hello,” she said, stepping out to face the Queen of Asgard in one of her son’s shirts and robed in confidence.

“Hello,” Frigga replied, taken off guard.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Mjolnir offered, “formally, of course.”

Thor cleared his throat loudly and Frigga looked from the unknown woman to her son and back. “Have we met before?” she inquired.

“I am Mjolnir,” the hammer of the gods replied with a warm smile.

“Mjolnir?” Frigga repeated. She took several steps closer to the mysterious woman, and she examined her with the eyes of a master of magic. What she saw took her breath away; it should have been impossible, yet the proof to the contrary was standing before her.

“She…came into being last night,” Thor informed his mother, unsure how to explain what had happened when he barely knew himself.

Frigga nodded. “Your focus is most singular,” she commented under her breath to Mjolnir.

“Is it?” Mjolnir inquired, genuinely interested. “I don’t fully understand what happened myself.”

“While extremely rare, it is possible to perform magic because of intense of focus. However, the caster’s mind cannot wander for even a moment, which is why it is considered impossible by many,” Frigga explained. “Your desire to take this form was so intense that you were able to alter your physical appearance and much of the magic worked into you during your forging. Frankly, you are an anomaly that will be studied for years to come.”

Mjolnir smirked at this.

“She reworked the dwarves’ magic?” Thor asked for clarification.

Frigga nodded, “From what I can assess, the Worthiness Charm remains, along with the other magics that made her unique as a hammer. Also, it appears that the elemental attributes of the uru used to forge her are still present.”

“I still have my strength?” Mjolnir blinked before examining her hands.

“As far as I can tell,” Frigga confirmed before squinting at her.

Mjolnir’s blood ran cold, “What?”

“I found the weakness in your spell,” Frigga reported.

“Weakness?” Thor prompted.

“A way in which it can be broken,” Mjolnir whispered.

Frigga nodded, “The work on the Summoning Charm is weak.”

Mjolnir shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “If Thor were to call me to his hand, I would return to my previous form?” she whispered for clarification.

“Yes,” Frigga replied in a soft voice. “How do you know so much about spellwork?”

“Thor occasionally left me laying around,” Mjolnir shrugged. “I caught bits and pieces of Loki’s magic theory lessons that way.”

Frigga looked at Mjolnir in wonder and fascination.

“I have a question,” Thor mumbled. “Can she perform magic?”

“She has some talent, but I would attribute that to the dwarves and years of observation,” Frigga conceded. “However, given the amount of energy required to transform from one state to another, using any more could potentially destabilize what’s already been done.”

Mjolnir noted this and nodded in understanding. “I think I’ve had enough of magic,” she mused before her stomach growled loudly. “Though not enough of food.”

Thor smiled at her before stepping into the bathing chamber, so she could dress.

“Thank you for checking on him,” Mjolnir whispered to Frigga, who was helping her with her breastplate. “He’s playing the part well, but his heart is ill at ease.”

“He’s my son as much as Loki was,” Frigga replied softly, “and I know him as well as I know his father.”

Mjolnir smiled at this.

“That’s why you took this form,” Frigga added.

“I was worried about him,” Mjolnir confessed. “I know what Loki meant to him.”

Frigga nodded, “You remember your time as a hammer.”

“Some parts better than others,” Mjolnir admitted, “but I know what to keep to myself.”

Frigga finished with her breastplate and met Mjolnir’s eye, “Good.”

There was a loud knock at the door before it was thrown open by four Einherjar guards, flanked by Odin. Frigga casually stepped between Mjolnir and her husband, while Thor stepped out of the bathing chamber, fully dressed and drawn up to his full height.

“Odin, what are you doing?” Frigga inquired with a dagger’s edge to her voice.

“We have an intruder,” Odin replied, “but I see you’ve met her already.”

Thor crossed the room with long, confident strides and stood beside Mjolnir. “She is not an intruder, father,” he insisted.

“Heimdall informed me that there was someone in your chambers,” Odin explained. “Someone he had never seen before.”

“He has seen me,” Mjolnir chimed in, “but not in this form.”

Frigga reached back and placed a hand on Mjolnir’s wrist while Odin advanced towards them.

“Who are you then?” he demanded.

“Mjolnir.”

Odin raised his remaining eye to Thor, “If this is a jest, it isn’t funny.”

“I am not in the mood for jests. What she says is true, and mother can confirm it,” Thor returned coldly.

Odin looked to his wife for confirmation.

“As fantastical as it sounds, this woman is Mjolnir,” she reassured him.

“If I could see her for myself, I might agree,” Odin muttered.

Frigga stepped aside, but Thor stood resolutely at Mjolnir’s side while Odin took her in.

“If you are indeed Mjolnir,” Odin grunted, “I recommend you return to the form of a hammer. The Realms have no use for you as you are.”

Thor’s hand grabbed hold of Mjolnir’s and he stepped between her and his father. “The magic required to take this form is beyond even mother’s talents,” Thor snapped. “She is just as useful to the Realms in this form as she was before. Or is it that she is no longer useful to you?”

Mjolnir squeezed Thor’s hand and he recalled himself. “Forgive me, father.”

“Your thoughts were on Loki, were they not?” Odin muttered. “Undoubtedly, Frigga has told you that he returned to Jotunheim last night; he did so of his own fruition. Had he stayed, I would not have asked him to go. Asgard is his home, not Jotunheim. It is doubtful his people will accept him, let alone recognize his birthright.”

Mjolnir stepped around Thor but continued to hold his hand. “What fault is it of his that his own people should reject him? You took him from his home and raised him to hate his own kin. If he dies, it will be because of your actions; you kept the truth of his heritage, his birthright and his people from him. He is far more resourceful than you give him credit for, and when he returns, it will be to exact vengeance upon you, All-father, and I can promise that I will not step in to save you when he does.”

Odin’s face darkened, but Mjolnir did not back down. Electricity filled the air, dry lightning cracked and Mjolnir’s grip on Thor’s hand tightened. He could feel the energy running through her body and realized that she was acting as a conductor for the storm of pain and rage inside him.

“I should arrest you for conspiracy and treason,” Odin growled.

“What cell in Asgard could hold me?” Mjolnir shot back.

Odin took a half-step away from her before a wicked smile spread across his face and his good eye gleamed. “You claimed that Loki will return,” he mused. “Are you confident enough in that prediction to bet your life upon it?”

“Loki Laufeyson will return within a year, All-father,” Mjolnir vowed. “If I am mistaken, I will return to the form of a hammer.”

“You would stake everything on Loki?” Odin said in surprise.

Mjolnir squeezed Thor’s hand. “I know him better than you do, All-father.”

“I admire your faith in him,” Odin conceded, “but I think it unfounded.”

“Do we have a deal or not?” Mjolnir demanded.

“You will grow accustomed to this form in the coming year,” Odin predicted. “Thus, if Loki does not return within a year, I will give you half a year to gain the favor of the Realms. If each of them swears an oath of allegiance to you, I will allow you to remain in this form. If not, they you will promptly return to the form of a hammer.”

“Will you give me your blessing if Loki returns within a year?” Mjolnir inquired for clarification.

“If you can predict Loki’s actions with such accuracy, you will have my blessing,” Odin vowed.

Mjolnir released Thor’s hand and held out her right to Odin. “Swear this to me upon your own name, All-father.”

Odin knew the power of swearing by one’s own name and the unbreakable power it held, but he took her hand and swore to her terms. In his mind, Mjolnir’s confidence would be her undoing. Laufey was in poor mental health and even if Loki could see him, he doubted that the king would recognize his own son. If he did, Loki would be pulled into his father’s isolationistic rule of Jotunheim, which had almost crippled the Realm’s economy to the point of collapse. Laufey would never allow his son and heir to leave the ice world again out of fear of losing him. If proving this point cost Odin, a year without the hammer of the gods in the form of a hammer, then so be it. He had given her fair terms and time enough to meet them. If she failed, his hands were clean.

Odin nodded to Frigga, who gave him and dark look, and left Thor’s chambers with the Einherjar in tow. Frigga took the temperature of the room and decided it was best to leave Thor and Mjolnir to discuss her bargain with Odin.

“They call Loki a schemer,” Mjolnir mused ironically once Frigga had left.

“What were you thinking?” Thor demanded, turning to her.

“I only matter to the All-father when he deems me useful,” Mjolnir returned, “and I will not continue to be pawn in his game.”

“You decided to bet your own life on Loki, to prove a point?” Thor exclaimed in disbelief.

“Yes,” Mjolnir responded.

“Do you really believe that Loki will return?” Thor inquired, a hopeful note in his voice. “What about the bond?”

Mjolnir’s mouth dropped in surprise. “I refuse to believe that centuries of fraternity can be forgotten because of a single argument. The bond did not bring you together, it brought you closer, and if Loki doesn’t return, then….”

“Then what?” Thor prompted.

Mjolnir bit the bullet, “Then he lied to you from the start.”

She watched Thor’s heart crumble in his face and cursed herself for causing him more pain.

“I don’t believe that though,” she added firmly. “He’s done too much to prove the opposite. Your brother loves you and that love is what will bring him back to you.”

Thor let out a heavy sigh, “After last night, I’m not sure he does anymore.”

“He needs time to process what happened last night,” Mjolnir reminded him. “You were just as scared and overwhelmed as he was, and Loki will realize that. When he does, he will come back to Asgard.”

“He may also decide to stay on Jotunheim,” Thor added. “What I said…what I didn’t say, he may never forgive me for it.”

Mjolnir fell silent.

“I want to believe he’ll come back,” Thor reassured her, “but we parted on poor terms.”

“Do you think it’s over?” Mjolnir inquired softly.

Thor contemplated this, “We need to talk about what happened.”

“Then write to him and tell him that,” Mjolnir suggested.

Thor had never enjoyed writing letters, but he wrote pages and pages to Loki, trying to tell him everything without saying anything outright. There was no guarantee what someone else wouldn’t read his letter and finding the right words to express what he wanted to say tormented Thor for two days. Mjolnir proofread everything he wrote and burned the pages that gave away too much. Finally, both of them were satisfied with the contents and the letter was sent to Jotunheim.

The letter reached Jotunheim and was given to Laufey, who promptly threw it into the fire. He never told Loki about the first letter. Or the second. Or the third, or the fourth.

On Asgard, Thor’s nights were spent restlessly, dreaming of Loki’s return, only to wake and have his heart broken by reality. Mjolnir slept by his side and soothed him until he fell back to sleep. His hair was getting long, and she brushed it from his eyes. It was only when he was asleep that Mjolnir allowed herself to worry. Her time was beginning to run out, and while she truly believed that Loki loved Thor, she had to wonder if that would be enough to bring him back.

Months passed, and Mjolnir noticed that Thor’s eyes were resting on her for longer periods of time. His heart was still broken, but his voice softened whenever he spoke to her and they kept gravitating to each other in their sleep.

“What is this?” Mjolnir demanded one night, after waking to find his arm draped across her shoulder. “I know who you long for, yet somehow you do this!”

Thor sat up and stared at the darkness surrounding them. He was silent for a long time before he finally whispered to the dark, “I still long for them, but I think I’m falling in love with you.”

“Then stop,” Mjolnir insisted, throwing back the sheets.

Thor touched her shoulder, “Wait…please help me to understand. How I can love two people so completely, while knowing neither of them will accept that?”

“I don’t know,” Mjolnir returned, “but you need to figure out where you stand with your love.”  

They sat in silence for several long minutes.

“You love me,” Thor whispered. “That’s why you took this form.”

“I took this form because I didn’t want you to suffer alone,” Mjolnir snapped.

Thor shook his head, “I’m sure that’s true, but it’s too complex a thought for you to have had at the time. Besides, that’s more of a reason than a cause.”

“What?”

“You love me, and because of that you didn’t want me to be alone,” Thor elaborated.

“Alright,” Mjolnir whispered, “I love you, Thor Odinson, but I know that you can never love me back, so I sit beside you and wait for your love to return.”

“I’m in love with you Mjolnir,” Thor insisted, finding her trailing hand and laying his on top of it. “I know how unnatural that sounds, but it’s the truth. This has never happened before. Not to this extent and not since I told my love how I felt.”

Mjolnir shifted her shoulders, “Then perhaps you do not love me and what you are feeling is merely compassion, built up from my time at your side.”

“I thought of that,” Thor admitted, “but when we first met, I found you beautiful, despite my grief.”

“Stop,” Mjolnir insisted, pulling her hand out from under his. “Your love will return, and you will forget about me.”

Thor paused. “You’re passionate, especially in battle. You lose yourself in the fight to the point where you are blinded by your own enthusiasm,” he whispered, “but flying is your greatest joy. That’s the one thing you miss about your previous form.”

Mjolnir gave him a sideways glance.

“I miss it too,” he admitted with a nervous smile.

“You’re guessing,” Mjolnir scolded.

Thor reached out and tilted her chin until their eyes met. “No, I’m not. I’ve known a part of you for decades because you were never just a hammer. You were alive, and I could feel some small portion of that during battles, but especially during flight. That’s when you were most alive.”

Mjolnir smirked at this. “I’m alive because of you,” she reminded him. “You saw past my flaws when my creators could not. If you hadn’t accepted me, they would have destroyed me.”

Thor stroked her cheek, “You were the most extraordinary weapon I had ever laid eyes on. That your handle was too short meant nothing to me. All I cared about was what you could do. Now, I care about who you are, not about what you were.”

Mjolnir smiled at him, “Thank you.”

Thor smiled back. “Mjolnir, may I kiss you?”

“You’re asking me?” she laughed in surprise.

“Yes,” Thor replied seriously. “You’ve been moving away from me since I confessed my love to you. I don’t want to kiss you unless you want me to.”

Mjolnir considered his words and Thor moved away from her.

“What are you doing?” Mjolnir inquired.

“If you have to think about it, then I won’t,” Thor replied.

Mjolnir shook her head at him and made up her mind. She leaned over and softly pressed her lips against his.

“I don’t fully understand your love for me,” she confessed, “but I understand mine.”

Thor nodded and kissed her back.

Together, they waited for Loki’s return while also reaching out to kings and ambassadors as their time began to run out. Mjolnir was unsure of Thor’s love, but his constancy began to sway her, and she began to fear what would happen to her if she failed to uphold her end of the bargain. She kept this from him, but knew that he was contemplating it too, while also fighting the growing fear that they had both been wrong about Loki.

The day they had been dreading came, the sun rose and the sun set. Loki did not come.

“There is still time,” Thor reassured her as she cried into his chest.

“I’m sorry,” she wept.

Thor hushed her. “He didn’t know what today meant,” he whispered. “Besides, Loki can be rather dramatic when given the chance.”

This made Mjolnir smile, which took away a portion of her unhappiness. The next day, they began scheduling meetings with the Realms.  

**Author's Note:**

> From the looks of things, Tuesdays and Fridays (maybe Thursdays) will be my new publication days, but I may not publish as often as I have been in the past.


End file.
